Ten Years of Marital Bliss

"There's a bliss beyond all that the minstrel has told, when two, that are link'd in one Heavenly tie, with heart never changing, and brow never cold, love on thro' all ills, and love on till they die." Thomas Moore, Lalla Rookh

Ten years is a long time, and a major milestone. What gets measured in 10 year increments? Decades, modern automobile warranties, high school reunions, census data. It is also one of the important wedding anniversaries. On Friday, June 26, 2009, Kristina and I will have been married for as long as our Kia's powertrain warranty is good for.

And what an incredible ten years. We have three beautiful kids and tons of wonderful memories. Of course, we have some not so wonderful memories as well, but we try not to dwell on those. In the quote above from Thomas Moore, the "all ills" is not referring only to sickness. It refers to the daily battles, trials, and tribulations that all couples face. Siblings, coworkers, and BFFs also go through these illls, but married couples who have committed to spending their lives together have greater and stronger opportunities for hurt. They also have greater and stronger opportunities for bliss when they've worked through the ills and emerged loving on the other side.

"Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Jesus, Matthew 19:4-6

God designed marriage to be a permanent joining, where neither "the party of the first part" nor "the party of the second part" are parts any longer, but are one flesh and one bone. Marriage is a blood contract, but that is for another day.

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." God, Genesis 2:18

I vaguely remember being alone, but that seems now like another lifetime. Most women would attest that men are nearly worthless without a good woman. God knew that too and so He designed a woman for me that would be my "help", my partner, my support, my guide, my sounding-board, my lover.

If I were Emperor, marriage would once again be a sacred union that cannot be entered into or broken lightly. In the modern era, couples try marriage and give up when it isn't working out anymore. Or they marry the one they love and stop loving when the ills begin. People should only get married if they are willing to make a life-long commitment "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death."

I love my wife, Kristina, with every ounce of love that is within me. Sometimes it's hard. God knows that we are both stubborn and opinionated and moody and sometimes hard to live with...let alone love. However, I know that Kristina loves me as well. That is why we have lasted ten years. We made a decision to love each other no matter how hard or easy it is.

In celebration of our ten years together, we would like to invite you to a live Internet broadcast/chat. We will broadcast from http://www.justin.tv/aenjel77 on 6/27/09 at 12:00pm PT. If you are a Facebook member, you can join in the chat. If you have MSN and a webcam, you can add Aenjel77 to your friend list and participate in a video chat. We will also have a mini-celebration for Devon at the same time since it will be his 3rd birthday.

We hope to see you there.

To Be Honest, Honesty In Music Is Rare

I came late to the Blogosphere. I've been on the Internet since the BBS days (pre-AOL and CompuServe), but I joined some of the latest trends after they matured. The biggest disadvantage is that everyone is already doing it. The biggest advantage is that I can see what others have done and try to avoid their mistakes or improve upon their success. The key is identity recognition. Therefore, today I begin an "Internet Identity Experiment." Instead of blogging about the economy or health-care reform (both of which I do plan to tackle eventually), I will attempt to start a trend and see where I can take it.

Honestly, most music is not honest. Most singers sing songs by other song writers. This is standard, and is widely recognized. A few song writers are very prolific and have their songs performed by dozens of different artists. How many of these songs are auto-biographical? Not many. Even artists who perform their own songs don't sing honest songs. Most songs that reach the top of the charts are fun or profound or catchy or mysterious or any number of other adjectives, but they are not honest.

For example, "If Today Were Your Last Day" by Nickelback is a very thought provoking song. If the artist knew for a fact that they were going to die tomorrow, and the audience knew it too, then it could be considered an honest song, but it's not. "Please Don't Leave Me" by Pink is touching and catchy, but it's not honest unless the artist has been in a long term relationship, that the audience is well aware of, and this is her attempt to convince him not to leave. I could go on for pages with examples, but I hope you can understand what I mean. Many songs touch us and make us think "I wish my life were like that" or "I feel exactly that way", but few reflect the honesty of the artist.

Enough about what honest songs are not. Let me explain exactly what I mean by an honest song. The song that brought this whole idea to the forefront of my brain is "Lowlife" by Kid Rock. I don't normally listen to Kid Rock, because I think he is a foul-mouthed, lowlife, scumbag. Then I heard this song and thought, "That is exactly what I think of Kid Rock. That is the most honest song I've heard in years." It's like seeing a beggar on a street corner with a sign that reads, "Can you spare a dollar so I can buy some booze?" People walk by and give him money and laugh about how they couldn't NOT give him a dollar because he was so honest about it. In the same way, I cannot help but like the song. Of course, being musically tasteful helps, but you see my point. Yes, I know Kid's version is a remake, but that doesn't matter.

Another example is "Material Girl" by Madonna. Most people considered that song a self-portrait when it came out. This is further evidenced by Madonna still being referred to as "The remarkable, hyper-ambitious Material Girl." She may, or may not, be that way today. I have not followed her career and haven't listened to anything she released since the 80's except "Evita".

One more example for you rockers out there is "Beth" by KISS. This song has since been re-done to the point of mockery, but it still has a strong measure of honesty to it. You know when you listen to the song that the legendary rockers would rather be jammin' and hangin' out then spending time with their girls.

You may argue that all three of these songs are just part of an image, but perception is often viewed as reality, and my perception off all three of these is that they are self-portraits.

Now it's your turn to join the conversation. Share this with your friends, and respond with your own favorite honest songs in the comments. Definitely tweet about it with a link back to here and use the #HonestSongs hash tag. You can use http://tinyurl.com/q7tgug